A Courageous Conversation 

Today I went to see a dear friend of mine. On a regular base she organizes 'Courageous Conversations' as she calls her small scale, informal gatherings (after David Whyte) held in a beautiful Grand Café in the city centre. 
There's no set group, so you never know who will be there. I love these mornings filled with love and unexpected surprises, meeting new people and sharing life experiences over coffee with a scattered tissue, like old friends do. Every time I go there, I learn something new. Always.

After we started talking, a common theme was slowly revealed. No matter how different our lives, our backgrounds, our dreams or hopes may be, we all had experienced feelings of loneliness. And neither of us had sweet memories about it. The inevidable sensation of feeling all alone, despite or sometimes even without the consolation and support from others, have been a tough lesson for all of us to learn.

Being with what Is

Looking back on the past year, I've had my share of loneliness as well. After a horse hit me in the face, leaving me with a concussion, I failed to recover from it. Every improvement I made was followed by a set back and time just seemed to be passing by without any real progress being made. At some point, almost seven months after the accident, I didn't know what to do anymore. I was almost unable to move, literally. Despair and solitude was all there was left for me to feel. 

Constrained by my situation I couldn't do much else than giving up the fight. Unconsciously I let myself sink into my feelings, facing what was in front of me. 
After I allowed myself to do this, the opposite from what I had expected, happened. 

I did not disappear. I was not being swallowed, nor over flown by my emotions. In fact, almost immediately after giving up resistance, my feelings started softening and my spinning thoughts came to a rest. It was a revelation and it taught me the valuable lesson of 'Being with what Is'. 

Despite the fact that it has been a bumpy road, I am very grateful for this experience that I wouldn't have wanted to miss for the world.

Friendship

This sunny Spring morning in the Grand Café, seven courageous people shared their stories about loneliness. They showed their vulnerability and offered each other friendship. It was a magical, heartfelt moment in time and I feel so fortunate to have been a part of it. Thank you!

Today, again, I've learned something. I've learned that we are all just wanderers going through the motions of life, trying to deal with whatever we have to face, as good as we can. Nobody on this planet holds all the answers, but we all do have a piece of the puzzle.

It's worthwhile to listen to each others stories. To spend some time together, to share a meal or to have a drink and to be the best friend you possibly can. For there will be a time you may need one yourself...  

With love and gratitude for Life,

Sandy McPhee